


it comes in waves

by themundaneweirdo



Series: hold my breath (and let it bury me) [3]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Baby Shower, Billy Hargrove Tries to Be a Better Person, Billy Tries To Be A Good Brother, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Gender Reveal, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Name choosing, Neil Hargrove Being an Asshole, Not Beta Read, Nursery Rhyme References, Parent-Child Relationship, Pedophilia, Possessive Billy Hargrove, Pregnancy, Sibling Incest, Step-Sibling Incest, Step-parents, Step-siblings, Susan Hargrove Is A Good Mom, Teen Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, billy is getting better, bless her, good parenting, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-14 19:55:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15396207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themundaneweirdo/pseuds/themundaneweirdo
Summary: Billy is getting a little better.





	it comes in waves

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. I took me like five tries to get this right. 
> 
> Also, Mamma Mia! 2 has me shook but also deeply upset about Donna. 
> 
> AESTHETIC: https://daughters-and-authors-and-lovers.tumblr.com/post/176173293794/for-my-fic

It’s mid-February and Billy still has to take down the Christmas lights. Susan hasn’t bothered him about them, she thinks it helps the house look nice despite it being almost two months last Christmas, but Neil wants them taken down. He tells the blonde day in and day out to do as he’s told, but the older man doesn’t stop to consider that Billy has been waiting hand and foot for Max since the New Year, so the blonde doesn’t have time to spare. Not that he minds, he actually enjoys taking care of Max, so Neil can shove it.

If Billy’s lucky, he can find little moments of the day to nap or workout, no longer than twenty or thirty minutes at a time. He helps Susan with house work, painting the nursery and setting up furniture, and tends to Max when he’s needed, helping her out of bed, massaging her little swollen feet, and cooking her food. Neil isn’t around to see that, so he just imagines that his son lays around all day, not a care in the world. If only he knew that Billy spends every second of his day thinking worrying about the not-to-distant future. 

Max is due in March, so she and Billy have less than a few weeks to discuss what’s to come next. Billy’s biggest concern is how the baby be raised. Max will always be the mother, but will Billy ever be the father? Uncle, maybe for the first few years of their child’s life, but what will happen when is Max is old enough to make her own decisions, and what if her decision is changing the baby’s last name to Hargrove? Or, Max could become independent in the next few years, and decide she doesn’t want her child to have the Hargrove last name. Billy wouldn’t blame her, it’s not exactly a squeaky clean name. 

There’s just a lot to be done and dealt with in the next few weeks, including a name. Max likes a few names for a girl, and Billy likes some for a boy. The redhead strongly believes its a girl, so strong that she picked out a peachy pink that the nursery is now painted, along with white wood furniture and baby girl plushies. Billy just hopes she’s right, because they have no boy toys or clothes, so it would be a little awkward for Billy to dress his son is pink onesies. 

Max had received plenty of baby supplies on Christmas from various distant family members, even a few locals in Hawkins. Susan’s mother, Georgina, sent blankets that she kept from when Susan was a baby, along with burp rags and bids, and even a Christening baby dress that was surely the older redheads as well. It was something to see Max’s face light up, despite Neil’s grumbling about the baby he called an abomination, when she pulled all of that out of a bag, her nimble fingers feeling every thing before passing it to Susan, who folded it all up and put it on the couch for later. 

Some of the older ladies of Hawkins sent nursery rhymes and baby bottles, even some little outfits that could be used for a boy or a girl, something neutral that Billy appreciated. He didn’t care what Max had as along as the baby was healthy, and according to Dr. Burnes, everything was fine, so the blonde held onto that with every bone in his body. Even Jane Hopper had bought her a Christmas present; maternity dresses.

Usually, Max would’ve scoffed and threw them, but because Jane bought them, knowing the curly haired girl probably did chores around the house, maybe even some of her brothers, just to get the extra money, the redhead smiled and handed them to her mother, watched her fold them up and put the with the baby clothes. She seemed thankful, because all her normal clothes were beginning to get too tight, so she supposed the dresses would do just fine the remainder of her pregnancy.

The idea of Jane dragging Hopper into a baby department store made Billy smile a little, and he twiddled with the ribbons in his won unwrapped gift. Max and Susan had purchased him new casket tapes and a new jacket, something he needed since his leather on was slipping open. But, that’s not what brought joy to his face that day.

He watched as Max tore open her last bag, which contained the gift that Billy spent money on, something he thought about for a while, and decided to get it even if the baby wouldn’t ever be his truly. She dug around she pulled it out, and her breath visually faltered. 

A teddy bear, white and handmade by the old woman down the street, with a date hand embroidered on the plush, soft belly; Baby Mayfield, March 1986. 

“Billy, it’s...”

Max held the toy, turning it over and over until stopping to wipe at her eyes. She smiled tearily at him. “It’s perfect, thank you.” 

She gently stood up from her place on the floor and gave him a hug, half way into his lap from his spot in the recliner. Billy felt her belly brush him, and there was a kick underneath her skin, but he only welcomed the movement of his baby. He smiled, because she liked his gift. Thats was what brought him joy on Christmas of 1985.

The next day, Billy found Max in the half done nursery, the walls still white at the time and the room lacking some furniture, refolding the clothes and blankets before putting them away in the small chest of drawers. She was humming a little tune, something he didn’t know but he listened close as he stepped in the room. The redhead glanced over her shoulder and smiled, pausing her song and shoving the drawer shut. 

He leans against the door frame. “Susan’s about to go to that furniture store in town if you want to go and pick out a crib.”

“You’re not going?” 

Billy shook his head, crossing the floor until he was beside her, looking into the crystal blue orbs. “No, I’ve got to start painting in here. You still want it that orangey pink you picked out?” 

Max rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “It’s called Peach.” 

Billy chucked, glancing around at the walls and tried to imagine it being that girly paint Max chose. The redhead was Hell bent on the baby being a girl, and while Billy didn’t care either way, he admired her spirit. Max was even looking at names, had written a few down to discuss with him and Susan, and she’s narrowed down a couple. He glanced at her out the corner of his eye and saw that she was dressed in one of the dresses that Jane got her Christmas. The orange one, and it reminded Billy a lot of the paint he was about to cover the room in.

It also made Max’s freckles stand out on her pale skin, the winter weather making her lighter than she had ever been in her life. Her red hair was falling over her shoulders like a waterfall, soft and flowing. Max looked, well, angelic. Even her belly couldn’t distract Billy from the heavenly glow that has settled over her, cheeks round from the baby weight, healthy and full and vibrant. She’d never looked so beautiful. 

She glanced at him, a blush on her cheeks. “What are you looking at?,” she asked, looking down at the floor. Not her feet, she couldn’t see them. 

“Just you.”

Max smiled, blushing harder and wrapping her arms around her belly. It was times like that Billy really thought about what Max meant to him. Sure, they’d been siblings for a few years, and they’d been through some tough shit, but he didn’t see her as a sibling anymore. She was more than the daughter of the woman that Neil married, more than a stupid thirteen year old that was chasing boys. She wasn’t the little sister he never wanted, but she was something else entirely. She filled a hole in him that he didn’t know he had until she became one of the most important things in his life. 

Billy was lonesome before that night, hollow and without meaning because he didn’t have much to live for besides Max. He had to keep kicking for her, to keep her safe and protect her from harm, from Neil. He promised he’d protect her, shield her away from the danger that no one but Billy knew Neil was capable of, and while he’d succeeded that far, he hadn’t been able to protect her from himself. 

No matter how many times Max told him that she wanted it, he can’t help but feel as though maybe she’d only been saying to spare himself the guilt. Either way, whether she wanted it or not, they were to be parents, and so for the time being, Billy had to believe what Max dished out, that she did love him and she did want him. If he couldn’t believe for himself, he believed for her, and the baby held safely in her belly.

There was a knocking at the door frame, and they both turned to see Susan with her purse over her shoulder. She smiled at them, innocent and unknowing, “I’m going to start the car to heat up a little. Max, are you coming?”

The younger redhead nodded. “Yeah, just let me change.”

Susan nodded and left the door way, and as soon as Billy heard the house door shut, he scooted over until he could get his hands on Max. One of his large hands cupped her belly, the flesh underneath her dress hot like a fever, and his other on her back to keep her still. Max let him, her hands guiding his because she knew what he was doing, and he rarely ever got to do it. She moved his palm just a little more until she stopped, feeling the baby kick in her belly. 

He rarely ever got to touch her like that, to feel the baby kick underneath his hands, but when he did, it was spectator. It amazed him how strong the baby was already, how big it was to make her belly so round, and how undeniably beautiful it made Max. Billy still couldn’t believe they were both his, the redhead was his little lady and the baby was his impossible miracle, the best thing he’d ever received. 

Billy took a big breath. “God, that feels incredible.” 

Max chuckled, letting him feel for a little bit longer until they heard the house door open again. Billy pulled and stepped away from her, and Max hurried to her room to quickly change into her winter clothes. Susan’s shoes echoed in the hallway, and she peaked back into the nursery. 

“Billy, are you coming with us?”

The blonde shook his head. “Nah, I’m gonna go ahead and paint the room. Will you pick up some extra brushes and a little can of white paint so I can redo the trim while I’m at it?”

The older redhead smiled and nodded as Max emerged from her room, redressed and ready to go. Susan waved him off. “We’ll be back soon.”

Billy had the nursery painted and the furniture set up by New Years Eve. He took his time painting, knowing Max would’ve raised Hell if she saw even one imperfection in the layers of color, so he made the most of his last few days in 1985. Max would sit and read to him while he painted, shirtless despite it being winter because he got hot while climbing up and down the later to paint the trim. The redhead would read a few chapters from The Hobbit, pausing when he asked a question because he didn’t quite understand why Thorin needed a Hobbit to get the Arkenstone. Max only grinned and explained while his back was to her, tan and defined in the light filtering in from the window. 

Once the paint was to Max’s liking, Billy started on the furniture. Susan had let the younger redhead pick out a toy chest, crib, and rocking chair to match the chest of drawers they already had painted white. Billy was putting the crib together when Max began to hang decorations on the walls, little pieces of art full of little lamb and baby angels. He didn’t understand why she went with such an old theme, she usually liked the newer, hipper themes and colors, but she went a peach room with innocent animals and angels. 

The blonde had the crib assembled in no time, and helped her dress the mat and hang a musical baby mobile that played Mary Had A Little Lamb every time Max turned it on. She smiled as it turned, the little lamb and girl figurine spinning slowly as the tube started up and played out until the end. Max rested a hand on her belly and sighed, glancing back at Billy as he sat on the carpeted floor and began to take out all the parts for the rocking chair. 

“You think she’ll like it?”

“Who?”

Max chuckled. “The baby.” 

Billy shrugged, looking over the directions as the parts lay between his spread legs. He didn’t think the baby would have any say in the room at least until it was older, but he humored her. As long as Max liked it, the Billy liked it. 

Max stood behind him, her belly mere inches from his head, and she ran her hand over his curly hair. “I like the name Jaclyn.”

Billy paused, his heart suddenly beating faster than it had in ages. He looked up at her, watching her gentle face turn to a soft smile. She wasn’t joking, Billy knew that much, but did she really want to name her child that?

“W-why Jaclyn?,” he stuttered, his hands shaking with the effort to keep his tears back. 

“After your mom.”

Billy inhaled sharply, looking back down and making fast work to figure out how to put the chair together. He couldn’t see properly, the wetness of his eyes making his vision blurry. God, why was he such a weakling when it came to his mom? She’d been dead years, in the ground and rotting away. But, Billy could probably tell you how she looked, what perfume she used, how she wore her hair, and what song she used to sing to him as a child. He missed her terribly, takes comfort in Max sometimes at night when he thinks of his mom. 

“Don’t you think that’s too obvious?”

Max shook her head, still playing with his blond curls. “I don’t care, I want to name her Jaclyn after your mom.” 

Billy sniffed, nodding, allowed Max to pull him so he was against her legs, her stomach. He didn’t have any fight in him, because honestly, he couldn’t imagine naming his daughter anything else. If it was a girl, after all. 

“Okay, we can name her Jaclyn.”

Susan had a baby shower for Max towards the end of January. She didn’t tell anyone, not even Billy about it, which is hard for her to do because she usually tells him everything. In ways, Billy supposed his step-mother had become his best friend, telling each other things he wouldn’t admit to anyone, bonding over baby and Max. He wasn’t mad that she didn’t tell him, he just wished he’d been given a heads up a day before it happened so he could’ve been prepared. 

He had taken Max to the little diner on the outskirts of town early in the morning because she was craving waffles and hash brown casserole, and Susan was all too happy to shuffle them out the door. He found it strange, but then he thought maybe the older redhead needed some alone time, so Billy let it go. Max was still in her pajamas, but so was Billy, so he didn’t care how stupid they looked as he ordered them both food. He smiled at her as he dug in, groaning at how good it tasted. She scarfed it all down in under twenty minutes, leaning back into the booth as Billy downed the rest of his black coffee. 

The only thing that bothered him was how a couple from school were pointing and snickering at Max.

When Billy paid the bill and gave the waitress a tip, mostly because she was kind and asked Max how far along she was with nothing but genuine kindness in her voice, he flipped off the couple sitting near the back. Max smiled a she pulled him out the door. They rode back home in silence, hoping Neil was already out to work. Billy had one hand on the wheel, the other on Max’s belly, covered by an oversized long sleeve shirt that he was pretty sure was his. She held his hand there, her fingers dancing over his as little flutters swam under her skin. 

“I’m thinking about cutting my hair,” he said, stopping at the red light in the middle of town. 

“Why?”

Max’s voice sounded worried, maybe even a little offended. It made him smile. She usually didn’t care for his hair, but then she wanted to act like she loved the Hell out it it. 

“Baby’s tend to pull on things, Max. I might love the little thing but I won’t let her pull my hair out.” 

The redhead chuckled, lacing her fingers with his over her stomach. “Maybe I should cut mine, then. I haven’t had a bob before.”

The idea of Max with a shorter, more mature hair cut made Billy feel odd. She would look so much older, independent, and it made him feel like maybe he should keep his hair long just so she would. The change wouldn’t be bad, but could Billy take the Imagine of Max with a bob cut while holding their baby, looking older than she ever had before, or would his heart jump and combust? It would leave him breathless, probably more in love than he’d ever thought possible. 

He pulled around the back of the house, pressing on the breaks when he saw all the cars. There was at least eight, one of them parked in his usual spot. 

“What the Hell?” 

They got out the car and up the stairs to the back door, only to be greeted by Susan, dressed nicely and holding a dress in her arms. She grabbed Max’s arm. 

“Come on, change into this,” the older redhead said, pushing Max into her room before turning to Billy.

“I have a surprise.”

He raised his eyebrows. “No shit.”

She scowled him before walking down the hallway, gesturing for him to follow her. He saw that there were pink and white balloons in the living room, and as he got closer, he saw the guests; Hopper and his wife Joyce, their kids, Steve Harrington and the Wheeler family, and–

Lucas Sinclair and the Party. Matter of fact, his mother and sister were there, too, and most of the Party’s mother’s accompanied them. Billy didn’t know how that was going to go over with Max.

“What...?”

Susan nearly squealed. “It’s a baby shower!”

He nodded, taking in the room from the door way. Billy was impressed by how nice Susan was able to get it in only half an hour, the various shades of pink mixed with the white looked nice in their otherwise generic living room. It was definitely something Max would like, especially since it’s for a girl despite the family not knowing for sure. 

The older redhead pulled his shoulder. “So, I need you to go to your room and put on that nice white button up and your best pair of jeans. Okay?”

“Why do I have to dress up?”

She smiled. “For pictures of course!” 

And boy, did Susan take pictures. Every time Max opened a present, she was there to snap the shot, much to Max’s annoyance. She got pictures of all the little dresses and socks from Jane, and even the few little pairs of shoes that Joyce Hopper bought because they were too cute. 

Mr. and Mrs. Wheeler gave her a DIY hand and foot print kit, something for Max to have for the rest of her life. Billy tried to imagine Max with their baby, trying her damndest to get the small feel and hands of the infant on the clay for the imprint. It made him smile. She thanked them and set the kit aside as Billy gave her the next bag.

Nancy and Jonathan offered baby girl bows and pink baby blankets, which Max loved instantly. She might not have been much of a girly girl herself, but she wanted to spoil her daughter. Max glanced at him, and he could see the idea pop into her head. 

Susan took a Polaroid of Billy on the couch with all the gifts that Max had put in his lap, all the clothes folded. The younger redhead even put some of the pink bows in his hair for good measure, and Susan got that on camera as well, Max laughing while Billy pulled at the sudden decoration. 

Mrs. Sinclair presented a little basket of plushie lambs and sheep, and Max lit up like a Christmas tree. They matched the nursery theme perfectly, and Billy could tell she couldn’t wait to add them to the room. 

“How did you know?,” the redhead asked. 

Mrs. Sinclair smiled and glanced at Susan. “I had a little help.” 

Ms. Henderson, bless her soul, gave Max a nursery rhyme book and a pack of baby bottles. She looked nervous, probably thinking her small little gifts couldn’t compare to everyone else’s thoughtful ones, but Max smiled and stood, hugging the woman close. 

“Thank you, these are perfect.”

Jonathan Byers had brought a camera recorder and took a tape of Max cutting the white butter cream cake, slicing a piece to show a pink center. Billy didn’t really know if Susan just wanted the cake pink for the baby, or if it was meant to be a useless gender reveal, but either way, the cake was good. 

After everyone had ate, Billy stepped out with Steve to smoke while Max and the guests sat in the living room, talking quietly. He had no idea that Steve even smoked, but they talked calmly about nothing important. Billy asked if there were jobs open at the Starcourt, and the brunette suggested the Hawkins Community Pool were looking for life guards. The blonde nodded, taking a small drag before flicking it out and going back inside. 

He didn’t know what the quests were talking about, but he would learn later that night after everyone was gone, and the house quiet.

“The Party apologized,” Max whispered, curled up with Billy in the darkness of his room. Her hand was resting on his flat belly, finger tips in the little dips of muscle there. 

“Really?,” he asked, stroking over her hair.

Max nodded before going still. He didn’t say anything else, let her sleep on him. Even if he wanted to speak, he didn’t have anything to say. Billy was glad the Party apologized, even if he didn’t care too much for them, but it seemed to make Max feel better. She probably felt like they had accepted her again as one of their own. But, it was different. She didn’t need their approval anymore because she was about to be something they won’t be for a while; a parent. 

Max was about to step into another chapter in life, about ten years too early, but she was, and she was going in head first. Sure, it wasn’t planned as far as Billy knows, and while he still blamed himself and felt guilt for what he’s done, Max seemed to be happy, content about the baby. It was like she dropped every little thing for it, including her childhood, in favor of the little one in her belly. She was ready to take the next step and become a parent, but Billy wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to do that same given their situation. 

“Billy?”

He turns from his place on the couch to see Max standing in the door way, ruffled from her nap. Her belly sticks out even from under her sweater, pj pants covering her legs. She rubs her eye with her hand, yawning. It makes him grin. 

“Will you make me something to eat?”

He nods, standing from the couch, the task of taking down the Christmas lights gone forgotten. Billy smiles as she follows him to the kitchen where he makes her a sandwich, letting her lean against him as she watches him, tells him how much mayo and how many slices of ham.

Her first bite of the sandwich makes her eyes roll back. “I love you, you know that?”

Billy feels his heart skip a beat. “Yeah, I know.”

He loves her, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are my fuel!
> 
> I’ll probably wrap this up with one or two more parts. 
> 
> Let me know how do you feel about Billy and Max? Would you count this as redemption? Is Max making a mistake? 
> 
> Also, I have two options; a angsty birth or a flash to the future for the upcoming last part(s). 
> 
> Let me know what ya’ll want to see!


End file.
